Dating, Courtship, or Arranged Marriages?

The college ministry I lead, the Salt Company, just finished a 3 week series on dating. I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you.

Basically, I have scaled down my notes from the two weeks. The full version, with more stories and illustrations is available through our itunes podcast or online at www.saltcompany.com The talk is broken into two parts- "The Absolutes of Dating" and "The Advice of Dating"...

A couple years ago I got an email from a high school girl in our youth group who asked me what I thought about dating. This girl was a pretty typical 17 year old from a pretty typical American family. Her parents basically had a marriage of convenience. In other words, they thought they would take the virtuous route and wait until all their kids graduated before they got divorced. Her dad was an absentee father. Her mom was a nominal church attendee who was faithful to take her to confirmation classes.

Basically, everything she knew about the opposite sex, she learned from what she saw on television, or in the movie theater, or through late night conversations with her friends.

What do you say to this girl?

I realized at that moment, that I was the closest thing she had to a dad.

I did have some conversations with her at youth group, but she always felt more comfortable asking questions via email/online (typical of this generation- awkward in person and bear my soul online). I always enlisted my wife in helping me answer her questions, because I knew the stakes were so high. Moreover, my wife could understand her situation more than me. We were like e-parents.

I really felt the weight of this question. She wants my help in the thinking through the second most important decision of her life.

The stakes are high! I feel the weight of this talk, because I realize that so many of you have never had a mom or a dad open the Bible and share God’s wisdom in how to relate to the opposite sex. Some of you that did have that benefit, in high school you might have been too proud to listen.

But now you’re mature enough and ready to listen.

Series: Ancient Wisdom; Tonight: Dating

Proverbs 2

My 4 word challenge: LISTEN TO ANCIENT WISDOM

Part 1- The Absolutes of Dating

1. Don’t focus on getting the right person, focus on becoming the right person

When it comes to your life- what is God most concerned about?

What does God want most for you?

Proverbs 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”

Proverbs is not a dating manual- it’s Solomon telling his son what kind of person he needs to become- he begins with what you think about God and how it affects your life (fear the Lord)

John 17:17- “Sanctify them by the truth…”

Colossians 1:28 “We proclaim him…so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.”

My friend Joe, totally not walking with God, made the statement “I’m just praying for the right girl” His mom Sally (and everyone else’s surrogate mom) rebuked him- “What do you mean!? You’ve got to become the right guy before you attract the right girl. Are you sure you deserve a beautiful godly woman?”

- Ask yourself- am I date able? (to date a quality individual, you’ve got to be one)

I meet guys that attend TSC and I often think, “I’m so glad your immoral, undisciplined, flirtatious ways haven’t sucked in one of our TSC guys/girls.”

Here’s another question to consider: Would Mark want me to marry Ava (or Cameron)?

If your life is consumed by finding a mate, you’re consumed with the wrong thing. The greatest command is to love God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind.

Then the second command is like it- then you’re free to date.

I mean love your neighbor… (I always get that mixed up)

2. Trust God- he is smarter than you (and he runs the show)

Proverbs 3:5-6; 16:1, 3-4, 9; 19:21; 20:24; 21:30

I didn’t want to include these verses in this point, because they say things like, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” In other words- God is in charge, not you.

The point of this is not to do what you want, it’s to trust him- that his way is always the best way to do life.

Do relationships his way, not your own.

When you’re trusting God, you’re content. You don’t need anything or anyone else.

If you date because you want someone to fill the emptiness and loneliness that’s in your heart- you will not only jack your own life up, but the other person as well.

It’s unfair to ask another human being to do what only God can do- namely, satisfy your soul.

What human can say, Psalm 16:11, “You have made known to me the path of life…”

The coolest wedding I’ve ever done- Phillip and Erin’s Story

They met at youth group and began to date in high school; it was a pretty typical high school relationship. In college, Erin surrendered her life to Jesus and Philip and Erin went their separate ways. Every 6 months or so, Philip would call Erin to see if she was interested in getting back together. She said “no” every time. She resolved in her heart that she would never marry, because Philip was the only man she loved and he was not following Jesus. On a couple of occasions, Philip tried to tell her that he had changed, and he was seeking God. But she could see through it. It needed to be God’s timing. She moved on with life, moving to Florida and purchasing a condo there. It had now been almost 8 years since they had dated, but this time the call was different. God had gotten a hold of Philip’s life, and this time it was a new Philip on the other line. In a matter of months, they decided to get back together and with their parent’s blessing, they got married. On January 26^th in a small chapel, I performed their wedding ceremony (it was quite a performance I must say). I’ll never forget her dad’s comments at the reception, “Not many dads can say this about their daughter, but my daughter is my spiritual mentor.” She was rock solid in her trust in God. Here’s their picture… (This picture could be in a magazine if not for that goof-ball in the background...)

That’s a cool love story.

(some of you just need to get over some old high school flame and move on…)

But all of us need to learn from this story of trust.

God was enough for Erin. She didn’t need this relationship to make her happy. So she wasn’t about to let her love for Philip trump her love for God. She submitted her desires, and God was gracious to her.

If you do happen to be lonely and want to get married to fulfill the void, just remember the words of my Grandpa Bill, “It’s better to be lonely than miserable.”

3. Listen to your parents.

Proverbs 13:1; 15:5

41 times Solomon addresses his “son.” Proverbs is a book for college students.

The phrase “listen (or pay attention) my son” is used 8 times

One of the biggest mistakes young people make in life is not listening to their parents.

Of all the commands in the Bible, this is the only one with a promise- your life will be better if you listen to your parents.

You can’t think you’re OK with God and on a good path if your parents don’t think you are (some exceptions, of course, if your parents are hostile to Christianity)

4. Listen to Solomon

He uses the word “listen” 17 times.

How exactly do you listen to Solomon? Prov. 2:1, “store up my commands within you.”

Read it. Memorize it. Think about it. Ponder it. Treasure it.

I never read the Proverbs more in my life than while I was dating Leatha. I had to know, God is this the one for me? So I read morning and evening and between classes. Then one day we had a conversation, and Leatha told me she wanted a skill saw. I thought that was ridiculous… A skill saw? Apparently she wanted to build stuff. That night I got on my knees and opened my Bible to the Proverb of the day- Proverbs 14. The first verse I read… Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house"- another mark in her favor, chalk it up on the pro side. The struggle was that there were also some marks on the con side, too.

5. Listen to your spiritual mentor(s), friends, and others who will speak truth

Proverbs 5:11-14 “At the end of your life you will groan…I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors…”

Proverbs 11:14; 13:20; 15:22

There was a leader in the Salt Company a number of years ago. He was in my leader’s group and we were in his dorm room. There were inappropriate pictures of pretty women on his wall, so I told him he should take them down. He was almost offended at my audacity to tell him what he should/should not hang on his walls. This man got married soon after. Within weeks of getting married, he called me crying. His marriage was falling apart. He was divorced within a few months.

6. Marriage between a man and a woman is good

If you weren’t here last week, you really need to hear Troy’s message on Sex. He hit a home run.

Don’t suppress your romantic feelings, submit them

Summary: Marriage is good, Sex is good, and it’s ok to desire both.

Proverbs 18:22

7. Sexual immorality will destroy everyone involved

There’s so much we could say about this. We did a talk last spring at TSC, addressing the issue of “How far is too far?” You can download the talk at www.saltcompany.com

Proverbs 5:15-23 is pretty clear- if you don’t want your future husband/wife doing this with some other man/woman, then it’s wrong. Solomon says never to touch a girl’s breast who is not your wife.

Proverbs 11:6- In purity, see yourself as being faithful to your future wife

It’s sort of like the Wedding Invitation Principle: You want to be able to attend his/her future wedding with no shame.

You may object: “But we love each other in our hearts.”

Some pastor gave this advice to someone I know- “But we love each other and we’re committed in our hearts”- That’s from hell. Send that satanic thought back to hell where it belongs.

If you’re not married, you’re not married. If you’re already committed in your hearts then I’ll marry you right after this service is over…

To date is to protect, not violate. Protect her purity for her future husband- it may or may not be you.

8. Don’t date a Non-Christ follower (2 Corinthians 6:14-ff)

Notice my terminology “Non-Christ follower”

There are a lot of you in this room that think you’re a Christian, but you’re not. To be a Christian means you’re following Jesus.

This is the last of the Biblical Absolutes, because to be totally honest, this is on the border line and I may be going too far to label this as an absolute. There is no direct command related to this. However, there is a command in 2 Corinthians 6:14-ff that certainly has this application.

If you marry a non-Christian, will you lose your salvation? No, you’ll just spend eternity in pergatory… just kidding.

You’ll just spend 50 years in purgatory (It may make your life on earth feel something like purgatory- if not hell)

Part 2- The Advice of Dating

Dating= a prearranged social engagement with someone of the opposite sex

The best dating advice is to tell you what kind of person to avoid and what kind of person to pursue…

Why is this advice? Because I’m not all of these things and neither is anyone in this room. You’ll never find someone who is perfectly all of these. But these are some things to be on the lookout for…

1. What to Avoid

Smooth talker (Proverbs 5:3; 6:24; 7:5; 7:21)

Unfaithful (3:3-4; 5:3; 7:19)

Oh, how huge faithfulness is!

Marriage is built on trust- if you can’t trust someone, don’t date them.

The effect of sex before marriage- it erodes trust

Foolish (and doesn’t realize it) (5:6; 7:19; 19:14; 30:20)

Immoral/flirtatious (6:24)

Immodest (7:10)

If you're a hunter and you make a turkey call, what are you going to get? Turkeys.

So it is with the way you dress…dress for turkeys and turkeys are what you will get!

Defiant (Beware of “I’m a Christian”) (7:14)

In love with Jesus (notice what I didn’t say… “Date a Christian”) That narrows it down- 90% of Americans think they’re a Christian. But have you ever been to a funeral where the person laying in the casket was not said to be in "a better place." Of course, everyone in America thinks they're heaven-bound.

*Lazy (9:13; 10:5! )- They’re not servant minded

Proud, Unteachable, and Quarrelsome- they have an opinion and have to be right about everything (12:1; 21:9; 21:19; 25:24; 27:15)

Watch out for someone with a chip on their shoulder

Are they a pleasant person to be around?

Angry, Bitter, or Quick Tempered person (22:24; 25:28; 29:11)

This is huge- don’t marry someone who has unresolved bitterness in their hearts. If they’ve got a uhaul trailer full of bitterness- you’re going to be hauling that baby around for the rest of your life. His/Her unforgiveness and brokenness will become your own.

2. What to Pursue…

Noble character (12:4; 19:14)

Listens to advice (12:15; 19:20; 24:6)

Lover of people (5:19)

Sweet spirit (11:16)

Patient (16:32!)

Hard worker (not work-a-holic) (24:30-34)

Self-Controlled- whether eating, drinking, purity… (23:20-21; 27:20; 28:7)

The bar (or buffet line) is not the best place to meet someone

Honor their parents (30:11)

*Diligence (Proverbs 31)

3. Remember the Superman Principle

Two people flying hard in the same direction- look over “Hey, you’re going to the same place.”

4. Don’t say “I love you” unless the next words are “Will you marry me?”

Love has been cheapened in our culture.

Love is not a feeling but a commitment- so just because you have some warm fuzzies about a person, doesn’t mean you need to drop the four letter L bomb on them.

5. Kissing is like playing with a tiger cub

Playing with a cub, or baby python- starts small and innocent (and fun for awhile) but it will soon to destroy you (Satan is the master of using momentary pleasure to deceive)

Or, like eating a candy bar. Imagine fasting/going without food for 18 years, then finding a snickers bar and only eating ¼ and leaving rest on table- It’s almost humanly impossible to do.

How long it will take you on your honeymoon to get from kissing to intercourse? Not long. So it's probably wise not to start...

6. Bad things happen late at night

Proverbs 7:9

Leatha and I decided we couldn’t be alone after 10:30

7. It’s passion and commitment, but mostly commitment

Feelings come and go.

How many of you have ever felt like throwing in the towel with your faith? (I haven’t J)

Did you stop loving Jesus because you didn’t feel his presence? NO

Some of the best growth happens in your life with God when persevere out of your love/commitment for Jesus

So it is with any relationship.

The vows are vows of commitment. The ring is a symbol of commitment.

Your marriage will be as good as your word.

8. Outward beauty matters, but not as much as you think.

Troy’s Song of Solomon talk two weeks ago- yes, there should be passion in marriage

But be careful about pursuing beauty without character!

Proverbs 31:30 is clear about this

Prov. 11:22- Beauty without discretion...

Sometimes you’re not attracted to someone because you’re attracted to the wrong things.

Men- word on the destructiveness of porn. Confess and be done with it. That’s you’re only hope. Every time you look at that you are destroying your future wife and kids.

9. Date with your eyes wide open, then close them half way when you get married.

If there’s nothing on your con list, then you’ve got a problem. This person is a sinner just like all of us. You better see that before you get into marriage.

10. Don’t get on I-35 going north if you don’t want to go to Minneapolis- Begin with the end in mind.

I got a call from a friend saying that he wanted to propose to this girl. He had dated her for well over a year and he was in love with her. She was the one. There was one small problem- this girl was unwilling to move to the farm. Not that he was planning on it, but there was always that chance it could happen someday. What should he do?

What kind of marriage and family do you want?

If you’re on two separate life journeys… this person feels called to serve overseas, or in the military, or has to travel for work or wants a small family...
Application:

Wait

If you came in here thinking you’re something sweet, scoping out the chicks you might want to wait.

If you’re just getting out of a relationship, you’re in this category

Date

Every culture has a different way…none of them are perfect

Illustration: Embera- show up in bed with your daughter; Afghanistan- arranged

Our Culture is Dating- So get on the ball and get yourself a date!

I think we need a demonstration: Two ways to get a date-

1. Put the phone on the stand and stare at the phone

2. Dial their number and push the green "send" button

Guys- if everytime you call she’s busy- she doesn’t want to go out with you

Ladies- if you’re really busy and you want to go out with him, tell him! (“I’m really busy but I’d love to hang out sometime”)

Guys, don’t be date-o-phobic.

Breakup (27:12; 28:26)

Some of you are being emotionally manipulated. You might be thinking, as I was 13 years ago, “If I break up with this person, they might kill themselves.”

You’re like a drug to them, the more you’re with them, the more harm you do to them than good.

What’s the best thing to do for a crack addict? Keep giving them crack as you counsel them and talk about how many brain cells are being destroyed? Of course not.

You are responsible for you, not him or her. Put them in God’s hands (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Dating is not something to mess around with. You don’t date to help someone else. You don’t date to lead someone to Jesus.

You date to find someone of excellent character to spend your life with.

Girls- break up with the jerk and get some girl friends who love Jesus

Guys- break up with the girl and get some accountabilibuddies (Thanks, John Dixon, I’ve been waiting all night to say that word. What a fun word, if you’re having a bad day, just say that word a couple times and it’s a sure smile.)

[At this point in the night, the audience texted in questions to a panel- that is on the podcast]

More miraculous signs and wonders

Last week was spiritual intensity week for our ministry. Each day had a focus- contemplating God, meditation on Scripture, fasting/imaginative prayer, silence and solitude, and evangelism.

We met every morning at 7:00 for prayer. On the day of prayer and fasting, a girl in our ministry told a friend she wouldn't be able to make it because she was too tired. At 3:30 she woke up and she felt like God was telling her to go to prayer. She went back to bed, and woke up again (without an alarm) just in time to get to prayer.

One of our staff guys was leading imaginative prayer. He noticed this girl writing furiously on a notepad. Afterwards he asked what she was doing. She kept getting visions of God invading the dorms and she asked God, "Which floors?" Soon, a flood of dorms and floors came to her mind (i.e. first and fourth floor of Friley, third floor of Maple, etc). That was Wednesday.

On Friday, about 30 students went out to share the gospel on the dorm floors where she received the visions. I went with a student to first floor Eaton. This is the "daddy loves me dorm"- where rich kids stay and keep doors closed (the new dorms are more like an apartment style). It was an unlikely place to go, but we went expecting that God had gone ahead of us.

It was typical evangelism at first- you're thinking to yourself, "What the heck am I doing out here? I'm nuts." And we are. There was basically no one around and I was about to give up.

But sure enough, a guy comes walking into the hallway and we begin to ask him some questions. This guy missed his class because he wanted to keep talking about spiritual things. He was hungry for truth. 45 minutes later we ended the discussion by exchanging contact information so we could talk more later. I got him Mere Christianity, and we're going to meet sometime to talk about it.

I couldn't believe this guy wanted to know more about the Bible. If you think about it, it's a miracle that anyone believes. The Gospel story is a bit far fetched. And yet it makes so much sense. But it's God who was at work, and in this case, he even directed us to where He was working before we even got there. That was the first time I can remember something like this happening.

In the vision, when this girl saw "First floor Eaton", God saw this guy. I think God still speaks and acts. And he definitely wants to be known (Acts 17:24-ff)

Middle East History Quiz

I was motivated this afternoon by a lecture given by Bob Blincoe, head of the Frontiers mission organization. I had the feeling that I wasn't worthy to be in the presence of such an apostolic man of God. I was informed and inspired (and I laughed, which made it all worth it- Bob cracked me up). I wanted to get on a plane and go to a hostile place to tell people about Jesus (with a smile of course)

Let me share some of what I learned. I decided to do it in the form of a quiz. That way you can see if you are as ignorant as I was 4 hours ago...

1. Where did the Kurds flee after Saddam Hussein systematically wiped out Kurdish neighborhoods in the early 1990's?
A. the mountains
B. Baghdad
C. their basements
D. Syria

2. What did the U.S. military do to lure them out of the place they had fled?
A. built a big bonfire
B. set up a tent city for 25,000 people
C. shined a spotlight in the sky
D. Fireworks to show victory

3. Who (wrongfully) took credit for the successful relocation of hundreds of thousands of Kurds to their homeland by American troops?
A. England
B. Germany
C. The U.N.
D. Russia

4. True or False. The Kurdish Gov't is hostile to Christians.

5. T or F. The Kurds consider themselves Iraqis.

6. Baghdad was founded in...
A. 2000 BC
B. 352 AD
C. 762 AD
D. 1902 AD

7. Baghdad was destroyed in
A. 480 AD
B. 1258 AD
C. 1972 AD
D. 1980 AD

8. 1919 marked the end of...
A. British rule in Iraq
B. German control of the Middle East
C. The Ottoman Empire
D. The rule of Saud in the Middle East

9. True or False. Gertrude Bell made up the modern boundary lines in the Middle East following WWI.

10. What nation exerted their authority in the Middle East following WWI, by installing Ali to rule Arabia, Abdullah to rule Jordan, and Faisel to rule Syria/Iraq?
A. Brits
B. Germans
C. Americans
D. French

11. T or F. The current king of Jordan speaks more English than Arabic.

12. King Faisel of Syria/Iraq, who ruled in the early-mid 20th century, made the statement
A. "You have given me a country that does not really exist."
B. "These people will be able to survive better as a democracy than as individual tribes working against each other."

13. Lt. Col. John Nagle said recently that we forgot all the lessons learned...
A. 2500 years ago by the Jews living in Babylon
B. 60 years ago by American troops who preceded our military.

14. Iraq and Iran fought from
A. 1976-1984
B. 1978-1984
C. 1980-1988

15. T or F. The Brits came to Iraq's rescue to finally overcome Iran.

16. The U.S. sent a special envoy to take Iraq off of the list of nations favoring terrorism and human rights violations. The leader of the envoy went to personally shake hands with Saddam and assure Saddam of our support. That special envoy of Reagan was led by...
A. Madeleine Albright
B. James Baker
C. Henry Kissinger
D. Donald Rumsfeld

17. T or F. Saddam received the permission of the U.S. to invade Kuwait.

18. Saddam invaded Iraq on August 2nd,
A. 1989
B. 1990
C. 1991
D. 1992

19. The U.S. Embassy in Baghdad employs 1,000 U.S. employees. How many of them speak Arabic?
A. 2
B. 5
C. 88
D. 680

20. The Gospel is spreading ______ among the Kurds.
A. Slowly
B. Rapidly

21. T or F. Northern Iraq is a dangerous place to live.

Answers:
1. A 2. B 3. C (America singlehandedly did all the work) 4. F (They protect minority rights) 5. F 6. C 7. B (by Genghis Khan's grandson Molugu Khan) 8. C 9. T (This might've been the most profound insight- the boundaries are synthetic, not historic. Therefore, we're trying to defend and unify a country that has will never have unity- that comes from tribes, not boundaries made by a westerner 90 years ago) 10. A 11. T 12. A 13. B 14. C 15. F (America) 16. D 17. T (After Saddam asked about a possible Kuwait invasion, US Ambassador said, "We have no opinion on your Arab-Arab conflict" 18. B 19. B 20. B (God is doing great things there, and the hate of Islam that almost wiped them out has made them more open) 21. F

What is nasal irrigation?

I've mentioned in a few previous posts that I irrigate my nose. I started doing this when I first got a sinus infection and continue to do it. I use a Neti Pot and fill it with water and a small scoop of non-iodized pure salt. Then I put it in one nostril and tip my head to one side and the solution comes out the other nostril. It's weird at first but I've gotten used to it.

This procedure helps to provide moisture to the nasal passages as well as providing relief during a sinus infection (decreases pain and swelling). I'm currently doing it 1-2 times per day. The purpose now is to prevent a future infection.

Using a saline nose spray is also a form of irrigation, it's just not as effective. I still haven't convinced Mark that he needs to being using a Neti Pot daily. He's had 2 sinus surgeries and can use all the help he can get. He has started to use a saline nose spray and says it really helps. The other day he said he was able to start smelling some things (kind of shows how bad off he is--and that is normal for him!).

A book that I would highly recommend for people that get allergies, colds, and sinusitis is Sinus Survival by Robert S. Ivker, D.O. A friend, Jen Lee, recommended it and at first I thought, "What could it really tell me that I don't already know?" After I put aside my pride, I borrowed it and learned it was really helpful. It's a holistic approach to treating colds/allergies/sinus infections.

Prophet Bono drops another great quote

Every functioning entity must have individual parts that work for the good of the whole, and not themselves (that's not the Bono quote...it comes later)

Think about this- it's true for everything.

A great team must have role players who get the ball to the scorers.
A great band must have a drummer who works to make the bass sound good, the bass works to make the guitars sound good, the guitars work to make the vocals sound good (That's a quote from our new drummer, Austin, who was trained and influenced musically by Andy Landers).
A marriage must have a husband who submits to God and who lovingly lays down his life for his wife, and the wife submits to the husband and lays down her rights for him.
The cell must have a... (OK, I'm not a bio-chemist, but from everything I learned in 9th grade biology, I'm pretty sure it's true for the cell)
And most fundamentally- the Trinity must have a loving Father with a Son who perfectly does the Father's will with a Spirit who puts all attention on the Son.

I was just talking to Todd Wallace, our worship leader, about this, and lo and behold, another quote from the prophet Bono came to mind.

This is so insightful...

When asked how U2 has stayed in tact for so many years, he said:

"All the members of U2 know that we'll only ever be 1/4 of U2. But being one-fourth of U2 is better than being the whole of something else."

In other words, U2 could've imploded if one of them ever decided to have their own agenda- to make it about something other than the band (i.e. themselves). That doesn't mean the band doesn't have a leader or front man (clearly, Bono), but everyone looks to make the others in the band better. Even if that means they fade into obscurity.

That's hard to take. That's why pride destroys great teams or organisms or businesses (or any entity) quicker than anything.

But at the end of the day, wouldn't you rather be Russ Hochstein, an offensive lineman on the New England Patriots, who has a Super Bowl ring for all 10 fingers (maybe he has some he wears on his toes, too) than Dominique Wilkins, who will always be known as the guy who scored a lot of points and had some cool dunks but never won anything?

I want to be willing to be an unknown 1/4 of something great, than be the whole of a Mark-centered dysfunction.

Has your family night ever bombed?

Four little children sabotaged our attempt at family movie night.

Actually, Makai, now 8 months old, is the main culprit. He started screaming "Feed me!" just as we were all about to jump in bed and watch a movie. So Leatha kept speed reading her latest book, Sinus Survival, while I threw the popcorn in bowls and split one can of pop 3 ways for the three older kids.

For what it's worth, our favorite family pop is R.W. Knudsen's Spritzer (pretty much any flavor but lemon- it tastes like bad cough medicine).

After feeding Makai, I brought him in to watch the movie. He's grabbing everything- spilling everyone's popcorn bowls, pop, etc. Moreover, I'm not into the movie because I already missed most of it, so I'm anxiously waiting for it to be done.

Finally, the movie ends and I help get all of their teeth brushed. I get them downstairs and of course Beck has to go "poopy and potty." I set Beck on the toilet, and he shoos me away with his classic line, "I need pyacy daddy."

"Ok, Beck, I'll give you privacy, but I'll be back in five minutes and you need to be done (he takes a long time on the pot)."

I come back to this.

It was official- family night was in ruins.

Yep...undies on the head.

How can he get them to fit perfectly on his head but not where they belong?

It's beyond me.

Now I'm laying in bed hoping Makai will stop crying from teething/gas/...? so Leatha and I can regain our sanity.