Thursday, March 27, 2008

Confessions of a racist pastor- me

I was sitting in the Library studying for my sermon for our college ministry tonight. I have such a "spiritual" job. (You know I'm setting you up to highlight how bad the following story is, right?)

Behind me I hear the voice of an African American man.

I can hardly bear to tell you my first thoughts, "I better not leave my stuff, I don't want it to get stolen. I bet he'll be talking loudly on his cell phone the whole time." Come to find out, it was a dear brother in Christ who was preparing for teaching his Sunday School class.

Yes, I'm ashamed. Horrified, actually. Is my heart really that depraved? I'm not from the South, I don't really think that, do I? I can only spare you by not letting you in further into the dark recesses of my soul. So for all my African American friends (and enemies?), I beg your forgiveness.

Last year I went out on a limb and watched the movie Crash (this is a correction- earlier I accidentally wrote "Traffic" in this post.)

I knew it would be highly offensive. But I thought I'd give it a shot based on the fact that some people I respected said it was worth watching.

It was one of the best movies I've seen.

Don't get me wrong- it's a horribly offensive, violent, vulgar and graphic movie. But I walked away feeling like I was part of the problem, and not, "The problem is that there are too many racist people in America. Why can't they get past that." Of course I want to be affirmed in my self righteous ways, but this movie didn't afford me that opportunity. Which is why it was a brilliant movie. I walked away feeling like something was really wrong in my heart, and I needed to repent and get right with God. Today I was reminded that I've not yet arrived, but I'm working on it.

Another movie that had this sort of effect on me- Munich. Another terribly brilliant movie.


The Pelhams said...

Concerning your remarks on homeschooling, I thought you might find this article interesting. Personally, i don't think the state should have a say in what my children learn at home, it would be interesting to see on a standardized test how well the homeschooled kids did compared to the public school kids.,1,4399394.story


Ed Noble said...

Any chance that you might have meant to refer to CRASH, not Traffic? Just wondering. Both powerful movies, but Crash is in the top 20 movies I've ever seen.
Most of your readers won't agree with this but I believe the flap over Obama's pastor is based in willful white ignorance of the realities in America.
Another comment - have you read "Divided by Faith"? Strap it on b/f you read. It is a humbling methodologically sound study by 2 sociologists that say that our evangelical assumptions EXACERBATE the race divide in America.
Ed Noble