Confessions of a racist pastor- me

I was sitting in the Library studying for my sermon for our college ministry tonight. I have such a "spiritual" job. (You know I'm setting you up to highlight how bad the following story is, right?)

Behind me I hear the voice of an African American man.

I can hardly bear to tell you my first thoughts, "I better not leave my stuff, I don't want it to get stolen. I bet he'll be talking loudly on his cell phone the whole time." Come to find out, it was a dear brother in Christ who was preparing for teaching his Sunday School class.

Yes, I'm ashamed. Horrified, actually. Is my heart really that depraved? I'm not from the South, I don't really think that, do I? I can only spare you by not letting you in further into the dark recesses of my soul. So for all my African American friends (and enemies?), I beg your forgiveness.

Last year I went out on a limb and watched the movie Crash (this is a correction- earlier I accidentally wrote "Traffic" in this post.)

I knew it would be highly offensive. But I thought I'd give it a shot based on the fact that some people I respected said it was worth watching.

It was one of the best movies I've seen.

Don't get me wrong- it's a horribly offensive, violent, vulgar and graphic movie. But I walked away feeling like I was part of the problem, and not, "The problem is that there are too many racist people in America. Why can't they get past that." Of course I want to be affirmed in my self righteous ways, but this movie didn't afford me that opportunity. Which is why it was a brilliant movie. I walked away feeling like something was really wrong in my heart, and I needed to repent and get right with God. Today I was reminded that I've not yet arrived, but I'm working on it.

Another movie that had this sort of effect on me- Munich. Another terribly brilliant movie.